Clean Chuck Norris Jokes

Clean Chuck Norris jokes are funny :) So I decided to share some with you:

1.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

2.Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

3.Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

4.Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

5.Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

6.Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark; the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

7.If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.

8.Google no longer runs searches on Chuck NorrisYou dont find chuck norris,Chuck Norris finds you!

9.According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

10.When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

11.Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

12.Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

13.The orginal them song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up truck. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

14.During the 1970's he taught The Price is Right host Bob Barker karate

15.Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.

16.Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

17.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

18.Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

Have a great day everybody, and remember, Chuck Norris loves you.